It has been about 3 weeks now since I started my “Surrender Experiment”.
If you have been reading my emails you will know that this year has brought many challenges and growth opportunities.
Recently I made the conscious decision to let go of the plates spinning in the air and see what crashed and fell away and what just kept spinning.
If you are a growth minded person like me you will know that this work isn’t easy and it takes courage.
You will also know that it is completely essential sometimes to push to the limits of who you believe that you are to get unstuck.
I am so grateful to the practises I have cultivated over the years which have given me the tools to step back and witness the experience I have created for myself and “be” with it. The alternative is just reacting on auto-pilot and creating more of the same as I remain in the same unconscious programming.
I thought I would share with you some things I have learnt from this process so far:
1) You get to choose.
Ultimately each day we have a choice how we want to show up. As I have moved through this process I have flip flopped between “needing to do more and make things happen” and settling back into what is and making peace with that.
It is most definitely work in progess but ultimately in any moment you can choose to be at peace with what is.
Is there a different way you can choose to be in this moment?
2) My self worth is still attached to my productivity
I am most definitely a recovering do-er. I feel at my best when I am doing, creating and being productive and I can feel guilt, laziness or lack of worth when I am not contributing to the world.
That being said, this space I have given myself has allowed me to “do” from a place of flow, ease and alignment instead of a place of urgency or scarcity. Maybe that is what makes all the difference.
Are you operating out of flow and ease or scarcity and lack?
3) Trust
Last night when I was driving to teach my yoga class I was listening to Wayne Dyer on YouTube and he said: Do you think you can do a better job than the universe?
As someone who has a history of always trying to control the outcomes and make things happen. instead of surrendering to what is actually happening this struck a cord with me. I am now tuning in more and more deeply into my need to force situations and then just let go.
Where are you forcing and pushing in your life?
4) What is life wanting from me?
As a coach, one of the questions I asked my clients most frequently is – what do you want? We set goals and we go and get them! This can be a great thing.
But when we are pushing ahead at the cost of our health, our relationships and our happiness we have to take a moment to slow down and ask: is this what I should really be doing? If I was to trust that life is guiding me perfectly, what are the signs telling me?
Since I have taken this step back, I was offered an extra yoga class to teach each week, people have been signing up to my yoga retreat in June 2020 almost effortlessly and I have made some new business contacts and connected with new 121 clients who need my support with Functional Medicine.
I have no doubt that life wants me to do what I am doing but life has not overwhelmed me with work opportunities so that I still have the much needed space to feel myself.
Where is life guiding you?
When you are an energetic being and the energy of who you are is the unspoken and often unacknowledged part of what you do, time and space for assimilation are crucial.
This morning I am ever so grateful to life for everything that it has given me this year – even the hard parts – it has brought me to this sweet spot in my adventure.
I am under no illusion that everything in life is “perfect” right now. Far from it. But in this moment, I am choosing to see the sweetness and beauty of all the messiness.
Much love to you….
