So you will know (because I keep on going on about it!) that I have been coaching my lovely Ladies that Lift group for the past 3 months. It has been a fantastic opportunity to coach a wonderful group of like minded women and help them reach their goals. Although I have taught them a lot, I have learnt a lot from them too. As we come into 2015 guns blazing, I wanted to share with you, some of these valuable lessons, the traits I have noticed in those people who have the biggest successes, so that you start the year on a solid foundation.
You may have a goal in the New Year to change your nutrition, you may have a goal to get fitter, enter a strongman (or woman) competition or run a marathon. But what are the things that actually ensure people realise their goals as opposed to ending up in the same old patterns in a month’s time?
Here is what I have learnt:
1. Have a specific goal.
It seems obvious but many people have a goal but are not clear regarding the specifics of that goal. You don’t just want to lose weight, you want to fit into your X size jeans by March. You don’t want to get stronger, you want to squat 100kg by June. What is more, you may need some specific stepping stones to get there. Your goal needs to be broken down into small achievable steps. I get my ladies to break this down into monthly and then even weekly goals. A weekly goal may be something as simple as nailing their macro’s for week 1 and then dialing in their sports nutrition for week 2, then removing dairy from week 3 and so on and so on. Small achievable goals prevent feelings of overwhelm and allow for small triumphs. By hyper-focusing on one thing, you can ensure success.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff
I often notice a cycle of self destruction when someone has overindulged on the weekend or had a few too many chocolates or sandwiches at a work function. There can be a large amount of psychological blame for these occasions and said individual fails to acknowledge the fact that they have lost 5 pounds, are stronger in the gym and sleeping better at night. Mistakes happen, life happens, sometimes we miss a training session, sometime we eat chocolate. The most damaging part of all of this is our attitude towards it. If you have some chocolate, absolutely enjoy the moment and savour every bite. Then move on and get back on track.
3. Mindset, mindset, mindset
One of the biggest factors, which I have already hinted at above, is mindset.
Lets face it. Most of us, myself included, run around like headless chickens a lot of the time. When I am stressed I have this continuous chatter in my head telling me all sorts of crazy stories. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, this mostly manifests in low self confidence from a business perspective, not poor body image or binge eating.
But for many, it is the latter.
I can see this in my clients in their emails or posts on Facebook. Long emotional posts of messages that I call “emotional vomits”. No sense of perspective or rationalization. If this is going down on “paper” it is most likely much worse in that persons head. The thing is, we all do it and it is not only affecting our food choices but our relationships with others too. I coach my clients to reflect before they post anything, to have structure to their emails and to ask specific questions that will help them.
What also helps me in these situations is working on my thoughts, I like yoga, listening to mindset audio books, meditation (I use the Headspace App) and spending time outdoors. Some of the best successes I see with clients is a when they make a daily effort to working on their own headspace.
For those clients who complain they are too stressed, too busy or too tired to eat well. I advise that they dedicate MINIMUM of 10 minutes each day to working on their thoughts.
4. Planning, planning, planning
Once you have your goal and have your head in the right place, you need a plan. It’s all very well thinking and believing you WILL fit into your size X jeans by March, but, without a plan, it is probably not going to happen. This could be planning your meals each day, planning your weekly shopping, planning when you will be going to the gym that week, planning when you will be doing your mindset work (because we now know this is one of the MOST important things) BUT, what I also encourage my ladies to do, is identify and plan for those things which are barriers to change (see next point).
5. Identify Barriers
It is all very well, having a specific goal, having the mindset and having the plan. But what happens when you go off the plan. What happens then?
Some people are quick thinkers and able to cope with sudden change when thrown off course. But many aren’t.
Before you embark on any goal reflect on what stops you achieving it. A good place to go looking is where you have failed in the past. What situations have let you down and how could you act differently if you were presented with these situations again.
If you know you make bad choices when you get too hungry, aim to carry healthy snacks in your hand bag when you go shopping. If you know that you tend to drink too much when you are out with your friends, set yourself a mental limit for how many glasses of wine you will be having. In doing so you can make them last the evening not suddenly realise you have consumed half a bottle of wine before ordering your starter. You get the point.
At this point in time I hope you have got a pen and paper handy. It is a really good time to be righting some notes down. DO NOT just think through this in your head. WRITE IT DOWN and commit to more positive and helpful actions.
6. Take Responsibility But Ask for Help
At the end of the day, you are responsible for your results. Unless someone holds a gun to your head there is really very little they can do to influence the choices you make. You choose the wake up 10 minutes early and prep a healthy breakfast or to fall out of bed and grab a coffee and a croissant at Starbucks as your rush to work. You choose to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday shopping for some healthy food and prepping some dinners for the week ahead or you choose to order in a pizza and catch up on the Made in Chelsea. However, sometimes we just get stuck in a rut of making some bad choices. Sometimes it is hard to get out of this rut. There is a time when you need to man up and take responsibility for your choices but there is also a time when it’s okay to say “I’m stuck and I need some help”.
With group coaching I always encourage everyone to interact as much as possible. Most of the time, except for the silent ninja’s who go about the plan without any fuss, those that interact and give to the group energy, get the best results. If you do not ask for help, no one is going to know you are struggling.
This also applies to friends, family and loved ones in your immediate surroundings. Sometimes it is a case of having an honest conversation with a loved one to explain to them what you are trying to achieve and ask them to be supportive and help you. Many avoid these conversations for fear of being accused of vanity, obsession or being difficult.
Ask yourself: are the people you surround yourself with are really going to judge you in this way? If the answer is yes, then maybe you need to reconsider who you spend your time with.
7. Make Appointments with Yourself
If you haven’t booked it in, let’s face it, for most, it won’t happen. At the beginning of the week you should know when you are training or not training. At the beginning of the day you should have a good idea of what you are going to put in your mouth that day. You should know when you will be doing your mindset minutes and you should also have some time planned for things that make you laugh, smile and be happy.
Get a diary.
Make appointments with yourself.
Enough said.
8. Know When to Back Off
We all know that in order to change you need to put the work in. Diet needs to be good and training needs to be on point. But sometimes we also need to nourish our souls.
When following a strict plan we can often be so focussed on “sticking to the plan” that we neglect the signs and signals that our body is giving out. Largely this comes back to not sweating the small stuff.
Its okay to “take a day”. Blow off your training to put your children to bed, go “off the diet” for an evening to enjoy your grandmothers apple pie. Part of health is happiness and sometimes kicking back and enjoying ourselves can bring a lot of happiness. Who would have thought!? 😉
9. Revisit the Why
On that note, most people are making changes because they believe they will be happier for it. There is a reason WHY you are doing what you are doing.
If what you need to do to get there is making you miserable, you may need another path to follow. If you find yourself constantly going off track, you may want to revisit why you are doing what you are doing.
Summary
I might be doing myself a disservice by I often say to my clients: You don’t need me, you have everything you need to succeed.
Its not always about having the best plan or the latest information. Most people stumble at IMPLEMENTATION.
So as you plan ahead for your 2015 goals, perhaps think a little further than what they are but how they will be actioned.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you would like to know more about my one-to-one coaching please apply for an information call you can do so here.
