On Monday 23rd September, the day of the equinox. I took a big leap of faith, trust and surrender and shared the following with my mailing list and Grounded Goddess Community.
I thought I better share with my wider audiences too so that they know what is up.
I’ve copied and pasted below…
Yesterday I was looking at my Facebook Profile wondering if I should change my profile picture – the things you think about on a lazy Sunday afternoon…
Under my profile picture it says:
“I help women slow down and reconnect with their bodies and hearts to find self love and better health.”
I’ve never been very good at putting what I do into words. Mostly I think my clients connect with me on a personal and eneregtic level and then we engage in a relationship where I hold space for them to receive what they need. The best way to understand is really to experience it.
When I first started this “slowing women down” work one of the core fears that kept showing up in my clients was:
I’m afraid to slow down in case it all falls apart.
Here is the secret.
It is supposed to fall apart.
Life is supposed to crack you open so that something new and better can rise from the ashes.
Some of you may know that before I started Grounded Goddess I ran a weight loss program called “Ladies that Lift”. I learnt so much about people (and myself) from running this program and it was a massive catalyst to my own growth. It forced me to deepen my knowledge – not just about the physical body, but how we operate mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
From that evolution I realised that I could no longer just work in physical consciousness alone and Grounded Goddess was born.
This would never have happened unless things hadn’t started to fall apart.
Your life is always speaking to you and if you don’t listen it normally just intensifies the pain and the challenges until you listen. The stress and discomfort creates the energy which forces your hand.
If you have been following my journey this year you will know that life has really been speaking to me through my body and my healing adventure. I feel that I am also not alone in this, it has been a transformative year for many.
Despite all the challenges I have soldiered on because “I have to”.
Recently I took a holiday and read the book; When The Body Says No. An absolutely fascinating read that spoke to me on both a personal and professional level. If you listen to the Kombucha and Colour Podcast I cohost with Ché Dyer, our most recent episode dives into it a little bit more.
The book essentially look at “disease personalities” and how our way of thinking (and therefore behaving) can start to manifest in dis-ease. There are a few core beliefs that are listed in the book – I list them all in the podcast – those that I resonate with most strongly are:
I have to be strong.
I can handle anything.
And just because you can, doesn’t mean that you should.
Since I got back from holiday I have been resisting. When I am “on it” I aim to post on social media daily and offer weekly or fortnightly trainings in my Grounded Goddess Community.
I have felt like I have nothing to say. I have felt like an outsider. I have felt a little lost.
Life speaks to you.
Every coach needs a coach and I have had many incredible coaches and mentors across the past 5 or 6 years. Most recently I have been working with a spiritual coach who I saw this Friday. He said the words I needed to hear:
“Anna, you need space to assimilate.Life’s challenges and traumas will only strengthen the work that you do. But only if you can assimilate them. Give yourself permission to fall apart. Roll around in the debris for a bit. Stop holding it all together!“
(it made me cry which is always the definitive indicator that the words landed exactly where they needed to)
But what does this actually mean in a practical sense? (because let’s face it, I am also all about the logical and practical).
I don’t know exactly.
But what I do know is that I am taking a step back. And in order do so I will have to sit with a tremendous amount of discomfort (anxiety around loss of income to be frank) and an even larger dose of trust and surrender (that it will all be okay).
It does NOT mean I am closing my business. Not at all.
I have Goddesses in my group program I am supporting and I am working with my gorgeous 121 clients. I am still available for new clients. I am still teaching yoga. I will still be filling up spaces on my retreat. I will still be creating episodes of Kombucha and Colour with my wonderful friend Ché .
What is does mean is that I am stepping back from the tasks in my business that require huge amounts of headspace and energy; endless content creation, trainings and other marketing admin I do on Facebook, Instagram and Social Media. It doesn’t mean that I do not care about the communities I have created. The opposite. I am giving myself permission to post only when I feel called to with a powerful message to share (like today).
It means that I will not be actively seeking business – although I welcome anyone who wants to work with me – it would actually be rather helpful because I still have bills to pay just like the next person 🙂
I am really just giving myself permission for things to flow as they should with less forcing, pushing and striving than ever before.
And just so you know, this is terrifying for me.
To release everything I have been trying to make happen and just surrender it to something bigger than me is huge. It is also necessary.
I will keep you updated on this journey when it flows. In the mean time I will be enjoying walking on the beach, practising yoga, taking time in the infrared sauna, taking coffee with friends, reading my books, writing in my journey and ultimately assimilating everything that has been happening to come back more powerful, more embodied and with my heart wide open.
If you needed a sign to do the same for yourself today, this is it.
Much love,
Anna x
PS. If you would like more details on the Turkey Retreat (6th-13th June 2020), go here: https://annamarsh.co.uk/my-services/retreats/
PPS. If you would like to work with me 121 between now and the end of the year, go here: https://annamarsh.co.uk/work-with-me/
